Long Hospitalisation Leave

I was given 49 days of hospitalisation leave from 6 Dec 97 till 14 Jan 08. This due my illness a tumour in the dead near the puitarary gland. I was down with homonol unbalance, failing eyesight and i always feeling groggy. Unable to focus long and really thinking or focussing properly.

In fafact had this kind of headache maybe for one year ago. The other sign was the cough which was said to be gastric reflux.

I had to tkae six kinds of medcicnes/pills, hydrocortisone, Losec, Olanzapine, Euthyrox, simvastatatine, Clonazepam.

As I am writing this my eyes are straining.
Thank you Eu for helping me with no reservsation or hidden agendas.
Thank you Mariina for all the love and tender LC and patience and perservevarance and loving me. I can never find another wife like her. She is the best mother to our 3 children and best daughter and a wonderful wife. Many thanks to Shaun and Jes for caring and loving.

Blessed

My most memorable and beautiful moment in 2007 was in St Anne's Church on Christmas Eve was I held Dad's hand and said, "Thank God for allowing us to spend this Christmas together." He replied, "And many more to come." At that moment I felt truly blessed. I am logging this down lest I forget the grace granted to our family at that moment in time.

Thank God for his love, strength and guidance through this difficult time for our family. Thank God for the gift of my wife, who has been a strong source of comfort, for the better part of my life.

As we continue waiting let's bear in mind God's Will be done not ours.

Carolling today Dec 08

Carolling was a different experience for me ,wife and my fellow carrollers from St Anthony's church at Woodlands.
We were very close to each other as directed by Fr. Terence.We went evangalising at Bishan Junctiion 8 and Toa Payoh central. What an experience, imagine I approached a young muslim adult. Boy he was a nice young man was my first person i spoke too about God's love . There is no color, race or religion as I and you and all are born with the image of God. We are all destinded to be in heaven.
You must accept God's calling soon least there is no time or chance left.

How I joined the Singapore Navy

As recorded by Shaun Wong

1973 Saturday, an interview. My Penang friends, three brothers Tan from Penang. First brother had only a thumb and index finger on his right hand, dark looking guy. Another was a handsome youngest brother. Second brother was dark like his first brother. These three brothers were gamblers, womanizers and drunkards.

The youngest brother came to lodge in our barracks. They had interview letters from the Singapore Navy and were supposed to go for an interview at Terror Camp at Sembawang Naval Base. All of my friends were armed with interview letters. I told them that I was coming along. I was accepted as an electrician, though I was an Art student!

Brother Peter was already in the Army in 1972 as armoured tank electrician. Peter was a good brother. We sent money home regularly. I was in the habit of sending home money every month or I would gamble them away.

Started with $45 salary, got $90. Pay correct, Sir, Salute, Hand Down, collect money in envelope, Pay Correct Sir, Salute. Time wasting I guess. Anyway later on, they switched to ATMs. I think we got a half day off to draw our money from the bank. Later on the perks of free bus fair and half day off to draw money from the bank was cancelled.

Finished my BMT and field march at Seletar West Camp. I played football in the army, even with my spectacles. I played at all positions on the field. I scored two goals on my own at Pulau Brani Camp as a left wing, until Gan Tai Fatt brought me down with a vicious tackle. From then on, I never played at that position again. One left kick hit the underside of the post and went in. Once I was a goal keeper with my spectacles. I jumped high enough to save the goal, but my specs broke and I didn’t play football anymore.

We were then introduced to boxing and my sparring opponent was Tan Hin Seng. I gave him an upper left hook and somebody rushed in and stopped me. I think you’re a building manager at Orchid Country Club, please call me if you see this. I’m sorry I never apologized after the fight. Those who witnessed the fight also, please contact me if you read this.

I was a badminton champion. Chu Yoo Leong, Nah Chong Boon and Eddie Kuah please contact me, where are all of you, grandfather yet?

Singapore

As recorded by Shaun Wong
Left for Singapore in Sept 1970. An island of opportunities. Brother Henry sent me on a motorbike (Honda Cub) to Ipoh railway station in the night. Then the journey would take 15 hours. At the last moments of 20 Yeo Kuan Joo, Mother said goodbye in the evening. I was more overwhelmed by the expectation in Singapore. My sister left for England in 1969. When I left, I guess the other siblings felt emptiness too. I borrowed money from the Borneo salesgirl next door, 30 dollars. I borrowed 15 dollars from Father Brian Doro, which I returned years later. Goodbye Mum, I’m going to work as an assistant cook, making mooncakes. If I make $100, I will come back before Christmas. 1970, working in Jurong plywood, as a machine operator. My journey to Singapore was interesting. Supposed to buy train ticket to Singapore, $15 per person then. However, we then whiled the time away at the sports clubs, at games of poker and jackpot. We lost our train ticket money.

We then had to take a lorry carrying newspapers to Singapore, with zero change to my name. I changed my name along the way. I decided to go by James Wong, leaving Frankie as my term of address by my close family.

When I arrived at Singapore, the assistant cook job was tough, worked till I breathing out powder, till after the mooncake festival. After the mooncake festival, I got a job at Jurong plywood factory, as a machine operator, being paid $1 an hour. Monthly earned about $250 – 300. Worked two weeks night shift. From seven am to seven am the next day.

My first accommodation in Singapore was at Jalan Besar at the one-room corridor flat. I didn’t know I was staying in the company of gangsters. At night I slept on the floor and the gangsters would come home in the night, and I had to wake up to let them cross. The main room was the hall where everyone slept. By two weeks, my companion friend left for Ipoh, a rich man’s son. The gangster who was with me brought me to Clementi Woods, to locate the hostel, which was on the premises of an ex-army barracks.

My first proper, decent sleeping room was a wooden floor with some kind of a straw mat. Clothes hung on the wall, no proper doors, four people in a room, separated by a tall divider. Our sleeping bunks only had a pillow. The rent was free provided by Jurong Plywood. My job involved placing glue and plywood into a hot press machine to make furniture. I maybe just using one of the furniture I made myself. We worked about 12 hour shifts, two weeks day and night. Typical morning, white T-shirt, long pants, took company bus to Jurong, came back whole white shirt was sprayed with black glue dots. I was never shy, why didn’t I have a picture. I walked along Victoria Street with business types with their clean freshly pressed shirts.
Clementi Circus were some of my wild days, learnt to gamble, drink, partied with National Semiconductor girls. Normally we’d get paid twice a week. One fine day started to gamble, guess it’s a common thing when Chinese get together. Most frightening encounter was after payday of $150, played black jack, 21, 2 cards. We started to play from evening with our pay packet, until wee hours of the morning.

You know once you sit down you want to continue winning, or losing, you’d want to win back what you’ve lost. To quote Kenny Rogers, “You never count your money when you’re sitting at table, there’ll be time enough to count them, when the dealing”. Win some lose some, mostly lose.

Never a winner who wins all, unless you’re a cheat. Lost my whole pay packet, more than often. Have to keep borrowing money. I got so fed up with myself that I wouldn’t play any more. The next pay packet I got, I went to Peninsular Plaza to buy jeans, the camouflage type that were popular. Came back to my hostel, they were gambling. Wanted to stop, but I couldn’t. Everyone was gambling, every room. With $20/$30 left for food, I sat down at the table, lost again. Don’t remember any winning days. Probably some cheats around. Luckily the police weren’t active then, maybe they didn’t have time for small people like us.

One day I didn’t know we were among gangsters. My friend the dealer, kept winning, while everyone was losing. In came a gangster and said, “Last three deals, I am the dealer” My friend, the dealer, ignored his betting. You’d indicate how much of a $5 you’d want to bet, by the number of folds on the note. One better had $10, another had $5. We played blackjack. Everyone gets one card and the dealer gets the last card. You watch your card, and decide whether you want to increase your bet. If you’ve an ace, or a picture card, you may be in for a win. That particular game never ended. The banker, the dealer got the last card of the game. He put the remaining deck on the table. Everyone put their cards on the table, the banker claimed he had three aces without showing his hand and collected money from everybody. One of the players said that he only put $8 and needed to get $2 change. The banker just walked away with the money. Out came his partner with a pen knife, saying “Who wants his money back?” And they walked away. It seems one of the days I was working, one of the gangsters came, dragged the dealer out, took his money and accused him of cheating. This kind of life lasted about 6 months. Almost lost my life.

Another gambling incident happened again after we collected our pay packet. This was when I decided not to gamble, and ended up working in the factory with a few people. Not enough people to run a full process, so good we did lighter work. I went back in the morning as usual, I was too tired to gamble, so went back to wash up, then went to Peninsular to buy jeans. When I didn’t have money, I sold my jeans for food. One night at Jurong Plywood, too tired, failed to clean the optical sensors and push the plywood entirely into the machine before the compression process. Quite tired, and my eyesight wasn’t good. I pressed the start machine and the piece of plywood that was not fully pressed in, was damaged and I got a shelling from the supervisor.

We had our parties, one Saturday night, there was an uninvited guest who came in. I met girls named Nancy, Alice and Anna, they were our girlfriends. I was flirting around. I was eyeing Anna, though Nancy n I sort of clicked during Clementi days. Gangsters came in and a fight broke out. We were drunk, there was a staircase, bottles were broken, ready for a fight. Second brother was fully drunk. I was a bystander, I didn’t know what to do. I was so thin. I remember one Tan brother, jumped from the staircase, intending to attack the gangster but landed flat on the floor.

Malaysia

As recorded by Shaun Wong
Born in Ipoh, General Hospital, 1951, 4 March. Birthdays were never important. My family never believed in birthdays, they were too poor to celebrate birthdays. I was an art student in St Michaels, ‘O’ level 1967, Express Class. PSLE, 1960, Baling Secondary School, the border town might be no longer there, overlooking the jungle, where the communist were.

Was the top three boy in my PSLE in 1960. Went to St Michael school to do my ‘O’ levels. I hated to study, especially maths. I was an arts student, now I am in the engineering field. I experienced a certain amount of success in the field, what choice did I have. I did not offer Mathematics, instead I offered Bahasa Melayu, education system, ha ha ha. My results did not qualify me for HSC. I only offered Science 6, Best Subject History 3, Malay Unmarked, Religious Studies – can’t remember, not really holy I think. Second Best Subject Geography 4/5, English 6, Literature...

Immediately after O Levels, went to work at a Clerk, bought a bicycle from Robert Olivero’s family who happened to be my neighbour. He later married Helen, my second sister. I was a Borneo Car Sales man, White Corolla Number 2903 sold to a Redemptorist Priest.

With my first pay check, I bought my first turntable. We were dancing away with the first record in our house in fairpark. The first paycheck I got went to my mother, the second went to a sound system for the Wongs. I was a reader in Novena, Ipoh at Thomson Road. I was an exemplary alter boy who served maybe 33 masses. My friends, Doreen, Robert, Elizabeth & David Goh. I was later a tuition teacher for my cousins and did my HSC privately at Anderson Secondary School in the night. Instead of going to classes, I cheated my parents by going for a prata, and movies at Lido or Cathay. I remember watching the Graduate. Hear me sing Scarborough Fair some day at the Civil Service Club.

Today

As recorded by Shaun Wong
I mediated for three hours on the first night when I was hospitalized on 7 December. I couldn’t sleep. Come the following night, I couldn’t sleep the whole night. I prayed the rosary, umpteen times. I felt I could pray in tongues. I’ve been diagnosed with pituitary gland bleeding. Last night, I suddenly heard my heart beat very pronounced. “Thud, thud, thud.” Every beat assured me that God is with me. Holy almighty Lord, thank you. “Why didn’t you approach me earlier James? I was waiting for you for 57 years.” Tear flowed freely, I gave thanks to everyone who helped me, known ways, unknown ways, hidden intentions. No words can describe it, except maybe Jesus. Y’know what, all my children are wonders, including my daughter in law. Bit worried by Jess though, maybe her new business is bothering her. Her yuppie world, Singapore, Singapore. Even a new born in this world has pressure. Pressure is not a way of living. Don’t chase them away… Give them real peace of mind. True peace of Christ to each and all of you who seek it. True peace comes to those who sincerely ask it. I got it man. Trust me, trust me, the Lord is almighty. Each mortal is a speck compared to the creation of God. God don’t ask me to question who you are. You are who you are, I am listening to every word, song, hymn and praise. Today, sad moments. Give the dying souls true focus and a leader please. As I speak now, how many deaths are occurring. Not my worry anyway.

How do I see myself? I’ve never thought about this until today. Eugene asked me. Are you able to put yourself away while speaking. Just consider what you are projecting. Have you ever laughed at yourself, the same mistakes you make. Do you worry a lot? I worry a lot. Well, I’m having a different outlook of life. My voice has changed because of my sickness, I’ve short term memory loss and want to make peace with my brothers and sisters whom I love very, very much. I called Anne and she said call Later. Sad, very sad. I told Eugene to give due respect to my brothers and sisters and handle any questions my relatives may have. I’ve forgiven my ‘enemies’, why should I worry why they have forgiven me. The most important people have forgiven me, Jesus, God, Marina T. The love of my life, you are a caring mother, filial daughter. I took you filialness as a excuse to hurt you, to flirt, to give the Devil to hold sway over me. I made peace with Shaun, Wei Ping, Eugene. I’ve made peace with Jesus. Call me anytime. I’ve learnt to meditate. In my sickness, I’ve mediated. I’ve a few tips about meditation. Avoid unnecessary voices, use ear plugs, eye masks, it should be done at night. Have a peaceful mind with a Rosary. Not necessarily rosary, respect other religions too. My own special way involves hearing my heart beat. Thud, thud, God Loves You. Are you ready to go to heaven, to return to the palm of his hand?

See the beauty of life. I saw waterfall and sunrise in Tan Tock Seng. I saw open skies, blue skies, dark clouds, the solar energy. My son sketched the view I had, my view and beauty of God in my life. Praise the Lord. Now I begin to understand why people use the word ‘Praise the Lord’. I lost my temper when I tried to make peace, to ask forgiveness from my brothers and sisters. Marina T smsed my sister, Margaret, asking her, “Your brother is in hospital, please contact him before he goes.” I called my brother Henry and he said that he didn’t recognize my voice. I said “Wong Kin Loy, I am in hospital and you are a prankster. Ok brother, I’m sorry I scolded you. Can you accept my apology?” “I accepted your apology” Henry said. I told Eugene to answer and screen my calls from my brothers and sisters.

Father, 84, another timebomb. If I come out of this alive, I will become an evangelist. I got someone in mind, my daughter-in-law. For the first time in my life, she has joined us in Novena. But religion cannot be forced. Three generations. I can already visualize the storks. Speech, character. Shaun. Jessica, at the moment I don’t know, but I’m proud of her. I know she is undergoing a lot of pressure, setting up a business, imaging the problems they are facing. They are architecture students, not even business students. Maybe someone should tell her a one-two day course of how to start a business. I hope she takes my advice on this, but at face value. I hope to visit her office after I get out of here. Jesus help me be with Marina T, my darling wife, we pray together everyday. I will have a showpiece altar, my daughter the designer, who will build and design.

Ha ha ha I am having short term memory loss. But if I go for an op and its successful, I must not be taken by that previous conman. But I have my own values and my own choices. Do not speak with hidden agendas. It is evil. If you do, don’t. There’s no such thing as a venial and mortal sin. Stop all this henceforth. Never never threaten a child, be specific with a child. When you scold a child, do not use words such as always, never, shut up. Hate the sin, but love the child. Never use the word I hate you on a child, you don’t mean it at all. Get to the point and say what you mean to say. You plan to fail when you fail to plan. Review your plans every month, 5 years, midterm, long term. I have many plans I want to become a consultant in building services. I’ve 35 years of experience with IBMEC, FSM, Building & Property Management. An arts student, I started relearning when I left the navy in 1990. My soul left me when I mediated last night, but I know that I will leave with an archangel, I’m entitled to one. (Here dad is interrupted by nurse to take medicine).

I’ve got so much to do, give me back my previous self, my true self, that Jesus wants me to walk. I know that if I focus and if I’ve done my job, I will be in Heaven. What is Heaven on earth, I know that I can find it.

Brother John Lau from SAC visited me today. Just ask him how angry I was, with my brothers and sisters, the important thing is God, Marina and my children. Hot Milo hasn’t tasted that nice before in front of a free open sky view. Light green grass, thick beautiful trees. People walking here and there. Raining. I’ve never seen such beauty in Singapore, even if it’s a bit cloudy. I saw sunrise in TTSH today. I saw my first sunrise having breakfast in bed. First sunrise, offered to me FOC. I saw a waterfall in TTSH. Sad. I’m afraid of water. I almost drowned in water at Tanjong Rambutan on a CNY. I almost drowned again at sea, on a paraglider. My real call came when I was diagnosed with a pituary ulcer in my brain. I’m at high risk to fall if I get aggregator.

Mum I love you from the bottom of my heart. I hurt you, the person I love the most. No words will describe the pain I caused you. Jesus has forgiven me, I believe you will forgive me. We walked the long journey of our marriage life together. Marina Tan I love you. No more social drinking, pubs, karaokes. Cut off all those people who go. Lets go for a nice holiday when I recover and am fit. I’m still not well yet. Ha, ha, ha. I believe now I am in good hands. Try to get the children to come and see me as often as possible. You will never know the time, second or hour. But don’t pressure them. Especially Jessica, I am concerned about her. I hope the rest don’t get jealous, if they are, I hope they have the courage to tell me. For me, nothing else matters to me, only Marina Tan my wife and Lord Jesus.

Name given Frankie James Wong Kin Kee, given to me by Charles Wong Kok Cheong, my son Shaun’s confirmation was Charles. Mother’s name was Chan Pek Leng, I saw her kissing my father, in an image in the trees. My mum died in 2005, can you imagine my loving wife Marina, keeps praying for her. Now my wife and I pray for them each night without fail.

Our Family

This is us, when Jess came back from her work attachment in Shanghai.

Front Row: Mum and Dad
Backrow: Eugene, Jess, Weiping and Shaun.

Dad says: I had always wanted time together with my family and time is short. So much today. My children are going away. I'm sad, at the same time happy. Look how grown up they are. My pride and my joy. At the moment, I'm so happy we started to go to church together, on Sunday Dec 9.

Dad Monkeying Around

He always made us laugh.

Our first car

At least I think it was. Need dad to confirm it. Think we had it all the way till Hougang?





Dad says: "One of my most expensive purchases gave me lots of headaches, some greatest regrets. I later learnt I cannot learn it all."

Eugene

And there was three of us. Watching Eugene grow up gave me an inkling of what it would be like to have my own kid.

Jess

Here I am with Jess.












And here Jess is with Eugene.

Shaun

Dad always called me his birthday present. Here he is with his mum and dad.




With my maternal grandmum.


Xmas at Clementi.


These must have been really expensive then. Thanks Mum and Dad.

Republic of Singapore Navy

Dad was a Staff Sergent in the Navy, and used to go on frequent navy exercises in my youth.





But always came back with presents for me. This was a bike he bought for me from Taiwan, which Mum taught me to ride along the corridors of our Clementi flat. I do remember constantly falling in the gutter along the corridors. Good fun.

Mum & Dad

This is Mum and Dad at Grandma's house in Ipoh. If I'm not wrong, this photo is before their wedding.

Why

I set up this blog for Dad when we learnt of his brain tumour on 7 December 2007. In the days leading up to his operation which has not been confirmed at the time of writing, I hope to log down as much as he has to say and reflect on. If his operation's a success, he'll have this blog to jog his memory.